Dumbass!!!

My husband can be such a DUMBASS. I swear my son and I do just fine. We have a rhythm. We should. I spend ALL day with him. We eat ALL our meals together. We go to the bathroom together. We get dressed together. Brush our teeth together. We have our own little language and I can understand his needs. I’m his best friend, the sun of his universe and he is mine. But when my husband pipes up and tries to tell me how to parent after he's been gone all day, I want to smack him. Kick his ass. Fuck, just give him a wedgie and throw a soda in his face. Now, I’m not violent and I only lash out at my husband, like a proper bickering wife, with words when my son is not around, but it would feel so nice to have at him in an incredibly immature way. This may be due to the fact that my days are spent with a toddler who has discovered the art of protest and doing an amazing job perfecting his performances. Ultimately I know I am an adult and it would never happen but good thing I still have a very active imagination.  I keep tight-lipped, chuckle to myself and smile at the thought of it. Ahhhh... Husband covered in a milkshake. Mmmm... Soothing.