A love left behind.

Ass, I miss how we used to be. Before I had my son, I was more than regular. 3 times a day. When I woke up, during my lunch break, and when I would get home from work. It was awesome, me and my ass were so in sync. No bit of fat ever stuck to my bones from indulging in my cravings. I swear I flushed out every particle of food. My body felt fantastic, like I had just finished a yoga class or even better, it was like having 3 mini orgasms a day.  I'd feel invigorated, relaxed and I even felt more flexible, easily reaching my toes. I had some pep in my step, feeling light as air. What happened to our beautiful relationship ass? You used to bring me such joy. Now, I get no love. I'm weighed down and dragging you around. Something as simple as bending over gives me a cramp and buttoning my pants can be challenging because I'm so bloated. No amount of fiber or stool softener helps. I can get backed up for a day or more and the whole time I’m grumpy and feel like shit, well because I AM carrying around like 3 pounds of it. Ugh, it was bad enough my kid ripped up my ass when he can flying out of my vagina and left me with dozens of stitches and bleeding hemorrhoids but does this really have to continue? I’m mad at you, ass. Boo hoo you suffered some trauma but that was over a year ago. Quit having your temper tantrum and get over it, okay. Realize that we are stuck together for the long run. It is time to just let it go. Literally…